Run No Contact long enough to reset your baseline. When you feel grounded, your messages land better.
1) The first text after No Contact
Keep it low-stakes, specific, and easy to answer. Avoid apologies/labels in the opener.
Opener: “Quick q — is that ramen spot on 5th still open late?”
Alt (shared interest): “They’re re-releasing that indie film we joked about. Had to tell you.”
2) Warm it up (callbacks > small talk)
Use prior jokes/micro-memories. When they reply, acknowledge and add something concrete.
Follow: “Lol the chili oil saga continues. If you go, try the garlic one — elite.”
3) Escalate to a plan (give two choices)
Plan invite: “Wed or Thu works for me — 20min coffee catch-up? Your pick.”
4) If it goes cold
- Mirror pace — don’t fill every silence.
- One clear invite, then step back.
- Protect your energy; let actions reveal intent.
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