What Is the No Contact Rule?
The No Contact Rule means cutting off all communication with your ex for a set period of time (usually 30–45 days). No texts, no calls, no social media stalking. The purpose is to reset emotions and break negative patterns.
Why It Works Psychologically
- Absence creates value: When you’re not constantly available, your ex has time to miss you.
- Stops desperate behavior: Silence prevents you from making emotional mistakes like begging.
- Resets attraction: Instead of being associated with conflict, you become associated with mystery.
Humans are wired to desire what feels scarce — and your absence is often the trigger that reignites desire.
How Long Should No Contact Last?
The sweet spot is around 30 days. In some cases (like long relationships or marriages), 45–60 days may work better. Less than 2 weeks rarely works because emotions haven’t cooled off yet.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Checking in “just to see how they’re doing.”
- Secretly stalking their social media.
- Using friends as messengers.
- Breaking silence too soon when emotions are still raw.
What to Do After No Contact
Once the period is over, reach out with a casual, positive message. Example:
“Hey, I saw something today that reminded me of you — made me smile. How have you been?”
The key is to keep it light and avoid heavy conversations at first. The goal is to spark comfort and curiosity, not reopen wounds.
Next Steps
In the Ex Factor Guide, breakup expert Brad Browning gives a full breakdown of how to apply the No Contact Rule to your exact situation — including how to re-initiate contact in a way that makes your ex excited to hear from you again.
▶ Get The Ex Factor Guide